I won’t lie to you. I didn’t like it. I am not trying to make you feel bad. Consider this: what does one learn from compliments only?
The biggest reason why I didn’t like it is the fact that the world in which this story takes place is so meagerly described (too little exposition). Apparently, this is a dystopian future set in the city of NY where slavery reigns supreme and rich people like to watch gladiator like fights to the death between the less privileged (some of which are apparently bred for the purpose). There was some kind of resistance, but it was squashed. That’s it. How did it become like this? Does this world not have a history?
-How can an 8 year old child “own” 2 battlers? Law? What law? Why would she even want to own “battlers”? What does Mia think/ feel?
-Dae is trained to be detached, yet he bonds with Angel and Mia in no time.
-Angel has no obligation to stay with Dae and Mia. She doesn’t know what she is to Mia…but whatever it is, she wants no part in it (at least…that’s what she SAID). Is she staying because she’s falling in love with Dae? Motivations are very important.
-Why does Morris insist on getting Angel back at all cost? You could’ve dropped at least a few small hints.
-Does this world have any rules? If you make them…you have to stick to them.
-This world contains more people than just Dae, Angel, Mia, Morris & crew and “Campbell”…there are crowds, passers-by, servants, guards, POLICEMEN ;)….these are also people who live their lives, thinking things/ feeling things. Don’t just use them instrumentally (that they only exist when one of the abovementioned characters is in the room).
Please don’t take this the wrong way (don’t be bitter), this can make you stronger.
I wish you the best of luck in expanding and improving Tnemrot.
Fair enough. I’ll try to answer your comments as best I can.
1) The history of the world will be explained later on. I was worried too much exposition and flashbacks would bog down the story.
2) The battlers are basically like video games. Remember children don’t have as much of an understanding of the impact of death and violence unless they’ve experienced it first hand.
3) Remember the flashback in chapter five. He has always been compassionate towards his fellow humans, so bonding isn’t out of the question.
4) If Angel were to leave, where would she go? Remember her only other options are back to Morris or into the slums where she has to fight for a scrap of food.
5) Morris is a spoilt brat who wants his toy back.
6) Again, the laws will be made clearer later on. But for Tnemrot, it’s basically “Anything goes.”
7) I plan to, but for now this is still about the characters I’m currently focussing on.
Thanks for the comments though. Hope I can turn you into a fan.
Well, in case anyone had a small hope that Morris had any good in him, think again!
Man, that guy needs to die.
Oks, yeah, Morris is a major douche.
I hope his death is graphically epic!
is June and Raid, brothers and sisters or couples???
I believe I asked that before and they are a couple.
That said, Raid is only third in douchebaggery to Campbell and Morris in that order.
Also…speaking of Mia Campbell…
Please, if he does die, let Angel be the one to do it
All right….I’ve read them all…phew.
I won’t lie to you. I didn’t like it. I am not trying to make you feel bad. Consider this: what does one learn from compliments only?
The biggest reason why I didn’t like it is the fact that the world in which this story takes place is so meagerly described (too little exposition). Apparently, this is a dystopian future set in the city of NY where slavery reigns supreme and rich people like to watch gladiator like fights to the death between the less privileged (some of which are apparently bred for the purpose). There was some kind of resistance, but it was squashed. That’s it. How did it become like this? Does this world not have a history?
-How can an 8 year old child “own” 2 battlers? Law? What law? Why would she even want to own “battlers”? What does Mia think/ feel?
-Dae is trained to be detached, yet he bonds with Angel and Mia in no time.
-Angel has no obligation to stay with Dae and Mia. She doesn’t know what she is to Mia…but whatever it is, she wants no part in it (at least…that’s what she SAID). Is she staying because she’s falling in love with Dae? Motivations are very important.
-Why does Morris insist on getting Angel back at all cost? You could’ve dropped at least a few small hints.
-Does this world have any rules? If you make them…you have to stick to them.
-This world contains more people than just Dae, Angel, Mia, Morris & crew and “Campbell”…there are crowds, passers-by, servants, guards, POLICEMEN ;)….these are also people who live their lives, thinking things/ feeling things. Don’t just use them instrumentally (that they only exist when one of the abovementioned characters is in the room).
Please don’t take this the wrong way (don’t be bitter), this can make you stronger.
I wish you the best of luck in expanding and improving Tnemrot.
Fair enough. I’ll try to answer your comments as best I can.
1) The history of the world will be explained later on. I was worried too much exposition and flashbacks would bog down the story.
2) The battlers are basically like video games. Remember children don’t have as much of an understanding of the impact of death and violence unless they’ve experienced it first hand.
3) Remember the flashback in chapter five. He has always been compassionate towards his fellow humans, so bonding isn’t out of the question.
4) If Angel were to leave, where would she go? Remember her only other options are back to Morris or into the slums where she has to fight for a scrap of food.
5) Morris is a spoilt brat who wants his toy back.
6) Again, the laws will be made clearer later on. But for Tnemrot, it’s basically “Anything goes.”
7) I plan to, but for now this is still about the characters I’m currently focussing on.
Thanks for the comments though. Hope I can turn you into a fan.